Background
I have a history. I've been dealing with the same pattern for as long as I can remember. The pattern seems to be that I get deeply involved with something and go at it head first for quite a while and then, seemingly overnight, I lose interest in it completely. This On Cycle usually takes about 6 to 8 months and then, the Off Cycle can last weeks, months or even longer. Eventually something will trigger me to get back in the saddle with the same activity or a new one and then the pattern repeats.
The main problem is that my primary 'activity' is getting into and trying to stay in shape. I've had a long history of getting into shape and then falling out of it. Over and over I've been able to get to where I want to be or, at least close to it, and then when I get into what should be the maintenance stage, I lose interest almost immediately.
I need to break this cycle.
Currently I've begun an Up Cycle. I'm getting in shape and eating better. I've actually started a pseudo cleanse diet for the past week or so and I've ordered a juicer to start a true, no bullshit cleanse/fast/reboot. The last time I went through something like this was last winter. January 4th 2016 my wife and I took part in a cleanse diet that lasted three weeks and was sort of sponsored by the chiropractors that we had been seeing. The reboot was basically very clean eating along with these veggie and fruit shakes. The base of these shakes was a plant based protein powder that smelled vaguely of a cow pasture and tasted even worse. We did very well on this and we pretty happy with the results. My weight loss was pretty dramatic and I could literally see a different number on the scale every morning. On January 4th I weighed in at a disgusting 248 lbs. On January 25th the scale read 232. Sixteen pounds in 21 days. I was so happy with the results that when it was over, I decided to go into maintenance mode. My goal was to be able to eat a little more normally but to keep trimming.
I maintained fairly well for the next few months. I hit 222 lbs. on May 2. I basically leveled off at that point and looked like I would balance out around 225. And I did. For a while.
And then. Something happened. I had a scheduled golf trip with my two best friends in Las Vegas in early June. (yeah, don't ever play golf in NV in mid June, trust me) I was out for 4 days and allowed myself to eat and drink normally. To be fair, I knew 'normally' with my buddies would be horrendous but figured I could handle it. When I got back, the weigh in showed that I had gained 3 pounds. Only three pounds? Holy crap, that's great! I can drop that over a weekend.
But I didn't.
Only a couple of days off of my routine was all it took to throw me completely out of whack. I had zero interest in eating something healthy or heading to the gym that weekend. Or the next week. Or the next month. Looking in the mirror was something that I avoided and things just got worse and worse. I dropped into a pretty dark place and depression had a nice tight grip on me once again.
I managed to gain all the weight back, of course, plus about 5 extra pounds for good measure.
Fuck.
Moving on...
Today is a gorgeous day. It's in the low 80's for Labor Day and we rode our bikes into Pittsford, NY to hit a little bakery cafe that is fantastic. It's a good hour ride one way and my endurance is climbing quickly. It was a nice ride and we had a nice breakfast there. On the way back it occurred to me that I need to start writing this shit down because...
I may be on to something.
I don't know if was an epiphany or anything but it did occur to me that I love the journey and transformation. Once there, I get bored and the boredom leads to inactivity and the inactivity leads to depression and THAT'S MY FUCKING CYCLE!
So...
I need to find a way to head that off. I love the routine of eating well, excising and seeing the results on the scale. Once I get to where I need to wear different clothes, I'll need to find a new target. Something else to track and measure and look forward to.
What about a book? Track this shit and write about it. Once I get there it will give me a new angle to focus on.
Knowing me, allowing myself to get out of shape while working on this would not be an option.
So. I'm gonna try.
The main problem is that my primary 'activity' is getting into and trying to stay in shape. I've had a long history of getting into shape and then falling out of it. Over and over I've been able to get to where I want to be or, at least close to it, and then when I get into what should be the maintenance stage, I lose interest almost immediately.
I need to break this cycle.
Currently I've begun an Up Cycle. I'm getting in shape and eating better. I've actually started a pseudo cleanse diet for the past week or so and I've ordered a juicer to start a true, no bullshit cleanse/fast/reboot. The last time I went through something like this was last winter. January 4th 2016 my wife and I took part in a cleanse diet that lasted three weeks and was sort of sponsored by the chiropractors that we had been seeing. The reboot was basically very clean eating along with these veggie and fruit shakes. The base of these shakes was a plant based protein powder that smelled vaguely of a cow pasture and tasted even worse. We did very well on this and we pretty happy with the results. My weight loss was pretty dramatic and I could literally see a different number on the scale every morning. On January 4th I weighed in at a disgusting 248 lbs. On January 25th the scale read 232. Sixteen pounds in 21 days. I was so happy with the results that when it was over, I decided to go into maintenance mode. My goal was to be able to eat a little more normally but to keep trimming.
I maintained fairly well for the next few months. I hit 222 lbs. on May 2. I basically leveled off at that point and looked like I would balance out around 225. And I did. For a while.
And then. Something happened. I had a scheduled golf trip with my two best friends in Las Vegas in early June. (yeah, don't ever play golf in NV in mid June, trust me) I was out for 4 days and allowed myself to eat and drink normally. To be fair, I knew 'normally' with my buddies would be horrendous but figured I could handle it. When I got back, the weigh in showed that I had gained 3 pounds. Only three pounds? Holy crap, that's great! I can drop that over a weekend.
But I didn't.
Only a couple of days off of my routine was all it took to throw me completely out of whack. I had zero interest in eating something healthy or heading to the gym that weekend. Or the next week. Or the next month. Looking in the mirror was something that I avoided and things just got worse and worse. I dropped into a pretty dark place and depression had a nice tight grip on me once again.
I managed to gain all the weight back, of course, plus about 5 extra pounds for good measure.
Fuck.
Moving on...
Today is a gorgeous day. It's in the low 80's for Labor Day and we rode our bikes into Pittsford, NY to hit a little bakery cafe that is fantastic. It's a good hour ride one way and my endurance is climbing quickly. It was a nice ride and we had a nice breakfast there. On the way back it occurred to me that I need to start writing this shit down because...
I may be on to something.
I don't know if was an epiphany or anything but it did occur to me that I love the journey and transformation. Once there, I get bored and the boredom leads to inactivity and the inactivity leads to depression and THAT'S MY FUCKING CYCLE!
So...
I need to find a way to head that off. I love the routine of eating well, excising and seeing the results on the scale. Once I get to where I need to wear different clothes, I'll need to find a new target. Something else to track and measure and look forward to.
What about a book? Track this shit and write about it. Once I get there it will give me a new angle to focus on.
Knowing me, allowing myself to get out of shape while working on this would not be an option.
So. I'm gonna try.
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